When I redesigned my website, I set out to reflect who I am now and what I'm doing with my life at present. Writing songs and plays. Grant writing. Theater administration. But that left all of my history as a performer out in the cold... I deleted the headshots and resume and shuffled all of my video links and production photos off to a corner of my site. I should have taken them down all together (who knows the next time I'll be on an audition...), but I couldn't part with them. I had to leave them up in memory of what at least for a time I thought I was going to do with my life.
The truth is that I miss performing. No, I don't miss the idea of trying to make it to the next audition to book the next part. I ditched that life pretty fast in exchange for an admin job. But I do miss getting up on stage and singing a song or playing a character. There's nothing quite like it, and looking back on all of my past roles and gigs, I wish I had a chance to do it again. Not that I'd have the time to add anything else to my plate right now - especially as grant deadlines pile up, Libra kicks back into gear with a new season, and writing with my partner in crime Amy Molewski is going so well. But I do envy my friends who are still going strong, performing where they can, and making a career out of what they love. And more than that, I respect them. They do something that I found out pretty quickly that I wasn't built to commit my life to - as much as I may love getting up on a stage.
So here's to the actors, performers, and singers of the world. Good luck to all of you!